That Nagging In The Back Of Your Mind Isn't Your Mother.....

I've been thinking a lot about ethics lately - really, I mean a lot.  I can't quite figure out why, but it's one of those things that keeps coming up for me in everything I read, as I watch my students, my children - all over.  I guess that's the universe telling me that there is a lesson in it for me, and I need to give it some reflection and consideration.

It began with my Moral & Ethical Foundations of Leadership course that required more than 1,200 pages of reading on values, ethics, morals, and continued into the next course into Leading & Developing Others where I focused on how to develop those qualities in people and organizations.  It's particularly interesting because both of the course papers I wrote even focused in on ethics in one way or another.  Even in my current course on Corporate Social Responsibility, I keep coming back to the impact that shifting the focus to ethics might have on businesses and the world.

Perhaps it keeps coming up because it seems so simple.  Not easy, mind you, but simple.  Research shows that individuals increase their ethical behavior and decision making, "their cognitive moral development," through three simple steps.  People must first be able to recognize that there is a moral issue, they must then be able to think about that issue in relation to their personal morals and values, and then they must be able to apply those values to the situation to make a decision that aligns.

Simple, right?  Actually, it could be.  We learn to recognize moral issues by talking about the ethics of situations as they come up, and through specifically using "ethical words" in those discussions.  We learn to recognize our own personal values by thinking about them - really reflecting on what's important to us, those things for which we stand, and then talking about our choices and decisions in light of those values.  Finally, when a situation is particularly challenging or represents something we haven't encountered before, we take our cues from people around us whose behavior we respect and admire.  With that in mind, imagine how critical it is to be exposed to values, to consider situations in light of those values, and to surround ourselves with people who behave ethically.

I had an opportunity to try out this idea with my son the other day when he said some hurtful things to a good friend.  When I spoke with him about it, I specifically asked him what was important and used the word "values," in asking him if his actions matched his beliefs, and it was interesting to watch him make the connection.  Without any prompting other than asking him what he wanted to do next, he decided that he needed to go speak with his friend and apologize and that next time he needed to think about "what he believes" before he acts.

Could we create a more ethical community by simply spending some time getting straight with our own values, making sure we spend time with people who respect our beliefs, and then talking about difficult situations when they come up so that we get practice making the *right* decision?  Could we help our children's ethical development by simply connecting their values to their behavior, and using the words "values" and "ethics" in those conversations?

Although difficult to define, we can sense ethical dilemmas when they appear.  They're those nagging pulls around the edges of a situation or decision as we're going on about our day - but it's those very pulls that give us an opportunity to think and make the right decision.  As Mahatma Ghandi once said, "The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still small voice within."  That "still small voice" is usually reminding me to think about what's really important before acting, or re-acting.

If you could use light refresher on the differences between morals and ethics and law, check out the video below.