The Gift of Clarity

Isn't it amazing when we experience something new or begin thinking about something differently, we so frequently find instances of it all around us?  When I was pregnant, I saw pregnant women and babies.  When I bought a new car, I saw the same model everywhere.....  Some would say it's the self-fulfilling prophesy, others might call it the law of mind action.  In any case, I see it in my life all the time, so perhaps it just means that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

For his dissertation, one of the professors in my first Ph.D. course followed numerous individuals who have had a significant impact on the world through personal service but whose humility made them do so in very quiet, unassuming ways, such that they were even difficult for him to find.  He then wrote his dissertation about how these people who dedicate their lives to service ultimately transform their perspective from a focus on themselves to what he called being “a beacon of hope.”   Most of these people had careers or companies or families, perhaps what we might call “regular” lives, until something spurred them to change directions to a company that provided service, and that service ultimately became their life’s work.

At the end of each semester, I ask my students to reflect on the past 16 weeks and consider whether they've experienced anything that has changed their life.  I must confess that I’ve traditionally done this as much for me as for them, as I always felt better, like I’ve actually given them something, when they verbalized what they have learned.  Usually I hear things like they’re thinking about changing their major, feel more confident at public speaking, or that they have realized that we are all leaders in our own way and that service is part of leadership.  These are all wonderful lessons that will have a positive impact on their lives, and they’re all part of my objectives at the outset, so hearing this feedback is rewarding for me. 

Three days after that first Ph.D. course ended, I engaged in the same exercise as my class sat around the tables at Panera to discuss their service learning projects.  Armando was generally a rather quiet, reserved student, but he was so animated and excited to tell his story when we reached his turn, he seemed like a different person.

Armando shared that his experience with one of the teenagers in the youth group he lead was very impactful for him, and he saw himself continuing in similar work.  In fact, he had always imagined himself engaging in service to others in some way, whether that was working for a not-for-profit or owning his own company.  He had even imagined what that would be like, what people would think about it, what it would say about him as a person, etc.    

While the specifics of Armando’s service project are not important, the lesson it taught him is extraordinary.  After Armando told us the details of his service experience, I asked if he felt it had changed his life, and he said something like this.  “Yes!  Yes, it was incredible.  I used to think that service was about me.  How it made me feel, what I would do, how I would help, what people would think about me. What I realized, however, is that it’s not about me at all.  It’s about them, and the only piece of ‘me’ in it really is the fact that I may be able to offer someone some hope or comfort in some small way at a time in their life when they really need it.  I may be the only person in that moment who cares, or who can help, and that’s enough.  It was so humbling to realize that it just isn't about me.”

In just 16 weeks, at age 20, Armando’s openness and humility transformed him into a beacon of hope, all because he took the time to serve and reflect on the purpose and lesson of that service.

Of course it wasn’t for a few weeks that I realized that I have always looked at this exercise in terms of what the benefit was to me, what good I did for these students, how I might have changed their lives, which assignments have the greatest impact, etc. 

What a gift for Armando to realize his purpose at 20, and what a humbling experience for me to realize that teaching is not about me, it’s about them.

Thank you, Armando, for your gift of clarity of purpose, and thank you to all of my other students who have taught me so much.  I am grateful for those lessons, and I hope that I have given you a fraction of what you have given me.